“When I am in the country, I never wish to leave it; and when I am in town It is pretty much the same. They have each their advantages, and I can be equally happy in either.” - Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
The last few days I feel older, and maybe a little bit wiser... Hilarious really since I pretty much spent from the 9th to the 19th June hammered, I'm not sure wisdom is found in a fishbowl or a few bottles of Prosecco, but I did have a few epiphanies whilst on my hollibobs!
I think I now have to address the ever burning question, "When are you moving back to Yorkshire?" So may people assume it's a done deal. And indeed, last week as I sat atop the Cow and Calf and looked out across the rolling hills, my heart ached to have this place accessible whenever I wished for it.
Just look at that view, who wouldn't want to have that on their doorstep! But how insensible would I be to make a decision based on an impulse of feeling in the middle of a holiday from a working week... Yorkshire will always be my home, my family will always love and worry about me, my friends will always want me around, and the rolling hills, they'll be there for my lifetime at least. Yes it would be lovely to see them when I wanted, but given how busy I end up making myself, and the fact that most folk have families and spouses to entertain I do have to question where I would fit in.
I have spent the most amazing two lots of ten days seeing my friends and family, some close, some distant, some brand new. I have been doing lovely simple things like the school run, taking my friends kids out for the day to see donkeys, shopping (shoes yay!), dining out, and drinking LOTS. I have been random and revelling in not wearing a bra outside (Tankini!!) being groped in a hot tub, built sandcastles on the beach and worn a tiara in public LOTS! I have had the most relaxing massage ever and superb afternoon tea and champagne with one of my oldest friends, putting the world to rights. I have well and truly spoilt myself, and when someone critiqued me for spoiling myself, I had to counter with I think given what I've been through the last few months I could spoil myself from now until to eternity and not feel bad about it. Perhaps it was a poor choice of words on that persons behalf, perhaps not...
But the more I was home, the more I missed "normality". My own space, my routine, my work colleagues, my southern Stacey, my life... and I did begin to fear for my liver!!!
The one thing I have built for myself in "Town" as Jane Austen calls it, is my career, and it seems that with my recent holidays and sickness my input has been missed and is actually valued. I have found a place at work where I am truly happy, and I believe good at what I do. I contribute to change and drive decisions, I was on the rise before my life "fell apart", and whilst I may have a bit to catch up on, I think I can get back there again. I have a "family" at work, who really do care about me, and strong friendships that exist beyond the office walls.
The Mumma bought me a beautiful engraved pendant, it said "Learn from the past. Live in the now. Visualise the future."
So in answer to the question, thats what I'm going to do, live in the now, down here in London town. Get back on top of my "To Do List", enjoy the new friendships I'm forming, carry on with my 2016 Challenge List (just a mere 13km left out of the 500km to do whoop whoop) and visualise what I want my future to be.
I'm not ruling out that one day I'll go home to Yorkshire, after all, as a friend pointed out, I do call it home...
That was a lot of reading miss Lini and I understand your reasons. Maybe we should have a referendum as to whether Yorkshire wants you 'IN' gods own county or if your 'OUT' and staying with the shandy drinking southerners! Lol xx
ReplyDeleteThat was a lot of reading miss Lini and I understand your reasons. Maybe we should have a referendum as to whether Yorkshire wants you 'IN' gods own county or if your 'OUT' and staying with the shandy drinking southerners! Lol xx
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