Standing with an army....

Thursday 21st April 2016

I know that I've been messed up, 
You never let me give up, 
All the nights and the fights, 
And the blood and the breakups
You're always there to call up
I'm a pain, I'm a child, I'm afraid
But yet you understand
Yeah like no one can
Know that we don't look like much
But no one fucks it up like us

When I'm with you
When I'm with you
I'm standing with an army
I'm standing with an army

Army - Ellie Goulding 

What a difference just a few days can make.  I find myself smiling, ear to ear.  It's just a mere week until I get to return to the motherland and get much needed actual facetime with my family and friends! 5 nights and 4 FULL days!  This month has felt like a long one but I am ever grateful to my southern friends who are the "family you chose for yourself" for keeping me busy, looked after, motivated and entertained.  Especially those who put up with me on frosty mornings, those who get me personalised mugs, and those who bake me crumble!

I say it often but I am just so fortunate to have people from all reaches of the globe who every day give a shit about how I am and what I'm up to! I wish I could articulate my love for them in an eloquent fashion that didn't sound like I've ripped it off the pages of a 19th century novel, but Ellie Goulding said it better than I or Jane Austen could have today.  I can't name everyone, I'd be too scared of forgetting someone, and some people don't even read this blog so would never know I'd been publically gushing over how amazing they are!

Someone said I seem different this week, like there is an evident weight lifted from my shoulders, and I guess I was living under a cloud, I brought my gloom with me, I was the Eeyore to everyones Tigger for those 5 months.  Now I feel bouyed by my ability to survive what would have destroyed some people.  I don't know enough characters to summarise who I might be now....

I have also discovered just how much I LOVE being outdoors.  I can't believe how inactive I have been for such a long time.  It's funny how being unhappy can affect you physically as well as mentallly without you even knowing it.  So far this month I have been out for 155km worth of walks.  There hasn't been a day I haven't hit my 10,000 steps on my fitbit and I even beat Ginge(r Lyndsey) at the weekend warrior challenge thanks to my 25km stomp from Hemel to Tring and back in the manky rain!  I'm sure she'll kick my arse this week during our "Workweek Hustle!"  My skin has a real glow from being outdoors, and i'm obsessing over the sheer volume of freckles spreading across my cheeks, I am fighting them with foundation, but they're creeping through.  

So only 7 sleeps between me and the open road back to Yorkshire, and those 7 days have fun filled plans of their own too.  I can't wait for Saturday night!  I haven't been as active, busy or happy for a very long time, and maybe that is because as Ellie says "I'm standing with an army" xxx