The next step...

What are men to rocks and mountains -Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

So the Chilterns may not quite be the "wild untamed beauty of the peaks" but there was something special about getting out in the countryside on Saturday.  It really made me stop and think.  I know I haven't blogged for a few days, but tonight I felt the bubbles of a blog and here we are.

I grew up in Yorkshire in the 80's/90's with real fresh air, green hills and beautiful views.  It was a time that smart phones didn't exist and you couldn't use a band on your wrist to track how far you'd come! I spent most of my childhood "playing out", kicking a ball around the field with the boys, playing off ground tig and ending up falling out of a tree into a pile of nettles, or seeing who could climb the highest in big conker tree and shake them loose.  I had friends who lived just streets away that we spent hours walking around, chatting about nothing much, building dens or bimbling up to "oakie" or "gummy tunnel" just for a laugh!

I was never part of the gaming generation, I never understood the thrill of sitting down inside staring at a screen, I loved being outdoors! Sure as my teen years hit I spent lots of time under a duvet and not stirring before noon when I could, but when I joined cadets that all changed.  My name would be first on the list for a camping trip, and despite never being truly an athletic build I loved a good walk out in Settle or Malham, or wherever the staff decided to take us!  Cadets truly opened my eyes to the world that was out there!

I remember the first time I ever visited the Cow and Calf rocks at Ilkey with Jenny, Andy and Mid after a camping trip in his mini! The sun was beaming down and the place just took my breath away!  The rich history, the carvings, the heather, the rocks.... It remains to this day one of my favourite places on this earth! 

Being outdoors with good company does something for the soul, stomping away the miles, getting mud in and on your boots, seeing the world as the seasons change and develop it.  The old dying off and making way for the new.  Birds spreading their wings overhead, hares running around the field, deer in the far off distance.  And of course not forgetting the vast choice of country pubs to rest your weary feet in when your companion decides that a detour round a large field is an excellent idea.

I was always sad that it was a chore for my ex.  That he didn't look up at the world in the same way I did.  When it snowed in January I wanted to get out to a high point and see the snow on the hills, watch how it clung to the fields and changed the landscape from what you thought you knew.  I remember asking him why he didn't want to see it, to open his eyes to what is out there.  I asked if my future was to never see the beauty of the world with the man I loved.  It was then, like a cracking branch in a silent wood there was a moment I felt my heart break.  I chose to apologise for trying to make him look up, and he chose to sleep with someone else... But I shan't digress.

Walking really gives the mind chance to breathe not just the lungs.  You just have to put one foot in front of the other.  As my dad says, the only step that counts is the next step.  You don't get anywhere by standing still.  And your lungs may ache, and your feet may feel like they're in concrete but one step at a time.

I will see the world with people I love, I realise that now.  This year I will climb my mountain.  Physically and mentally, and when I look back I'll realise that my dad is right, the only step that counted really was the next step.