Someone said this weekend that writing this blog was brave. To share my thoughts and feelings in such an exposed and vulnerable way. I'm not sure if it's brave or stupid to let people dissect the inner workings of my random mind, but I have had such amazing feedback and some people have said how it has helped them make sense of a few things, so that's lovely to hear! The one thing I know is that it helps me. It gives me a centre, a place to focus myself. So I do thank you all for your kind words and encouragement!
It would be easy to forget that it's just a mere 45 days since my marriage ended. Just 6 weeks ago I was planning my future with a man I don't even recognise anymore. I have to repeat that this blog is not here to punish him, because that would make it about him, and this is about me, and of course there is some censorship because I am not always wise in how I react to him, and I'd probably get my blog taken down if I said everything I wanted to vent some days. He knows what he did, and he can choose to tell people half truths about how things ended, he's not the man I remember, so it makes it easier to let that stuff go.
And after saying it's not about him and going on about him I really should move onto the point of this blog!
I have had the most amazing 4 days that I have had in years! There are just simply never enough hours in the day, or enough days in the weekend to see everyone I want to see when I go back to Yorkshire! But I have filled every day with new adventures and new memories! I have the biggest grin on my face and people at work can attest to that! My accent has also returned to the point where Kate has asked me twice to repeat myself!
Ah Yorkshire. I love you. For those of you who see my Facebook posts, Paula has featured heavily this weekend, and since she was upset she didn't get a shout out in last weeks blog, hi Paula *waves* And then there was Becky saying she had a premonition one of us was going to be murdered on our night out, mind you some of the folk in the Cross Keys did look like they might make that come true! And bless Nicola, out at 8 and hammered by 10!! "This is Bob!"
Anyway Yorkshire! Seriously people... If you've never been to the gorgeous costal town of Whitby, GO! If you've never walked anywhere in the Yorkshire Dale's let alone near Linton Falls, GO! If you've never had curry in Bradford, GO! If you've never been drinking with my girlfriends, well that's sensible... your liver will probably thank you for abstaining!
I have no idea where I found the energy to go on a 12k walk in Grassington on Saturday, after staying out until the early hours drinking and only getting 3 hours sleep! I can only guess that my fabulous Friday night had something to do with it, but it was gorgeous! The storm held off and I got to spend some real quality time with one of my besties Lyndsey *waves* putting the world to rights and showing I'm not always blonde, I do have my sensible navigational moments!
I am loving walking! I always have before, but this year it really has become a passion! I set myself a challenge to walk 500km in the year 2016, not all at once, I definitely don't have the stamina for that! Small walks can count, but they have to be tracked and ones that you go out for! Bouyed by my brilliant bank holiday when I got home yesterday with the sun shining I decided to go out again, and even tonight with the rain pouring I managed a nice 5k and I'm pleased to say that I've clocked up 114k already! So I might actually complete this challenge!
I have had so many hugs and love this weekend! From family, from old friends and from new friends and they have just lifted my spirits so much so that I can see a new horizon underneath the blazing sky...
There's a quote about not waiting for the storm to pass and about learning how to dance in the rain... I feel like that's what I'm doing... I'm taking time to process what's happened to me, I'm allowed to be angry and have my upset days... But I'll damn well dance on days I want to dance, and whether it be Storm Katie or Hurricane Lini I'll come out of the other side with a grin on my face and love in my heart, because heartbreak won't beat me, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! Right now? I feel strong.
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