The elephant in the room...

 "Weight loss is not the key to your dreams.  The truth is the door is flimsy and there is no lock" - Golda Poretsky

On the 1st January I set myself 12 challenges.  I didn't know what was to come, I didn't know the chaos that would reign... But my god right now am I happy that I gave my year some focus so I had some structure when everything else fell apart...

2 of the 12 challenges have driven the first 5 months of my year:-

1) Walk or run 500km of tracked walks/runs

2) Lose 3 stone 

Walk or run 500km

Let's talk about challenge 1 (500km) which came about because I needed to start thinking about challenge 3 (run a 5km race)  In January I had only walked a paltry 3.8km towards that total, and that was the ill fated snowy walk that set my future on fire.  Indeed even at the end of February, I'd only managed to clock up 40km towards my target.  The road seemed quite literally, long!  But then I found my legs, wobbly, shaky, definitely not sea worthy legs but soon enough they were putting one foot in front of the other on a daily basis... I'm up to 409km now!  I may even finish this challenge 7 months early... So it would be rude to stop at 500km if I do... Maybe i'll plump for a 1000km.  Let's achieve the 500 first though!

Lose 3 stone!

"You'll love Lini, she's so down to earth"... Yes because she's so heavy she can't get her feet off the ground... lol 

Being funny and fat do seem to go hand in hand! Maybe it's years of being a big girl that have done it to me, but in all honesty I've never given too much of a toss about being who I am, what I weighed.  I was never bullied, never struggled to find love, and I like to think I don't ever look a buggar in anything I wear!  I do love a frock!  In 2012 when my ex was on traning in Canada for 5 months, I focused on me and my physical wellbeing.  Without someone else to look after and a routine I could design around myself, I managed to lose 3 stone, it didn't make me "thin" but I looked and felt better for it.  Time passed and I lost focus on me, and I packed on the poundage, so much that I put on 4 stone, more than I lost!  Dominos pizza will always be my nemesis!  Especially when you couple it with cheesecake and a sedentary lifestyle.

So at the beginning of this year I thought I'd try and find the focus on me again, little did I know of what was to come, and how much that would "shape" (no pun intended) my journey.

I'm two stone down, and mostly thanks to challenge 1, my diet hasn't dramatically improved, I still cant stomach veg and I'd definitely hide them under my mash if someone tried to force me!  But I do think twice about starter, main AND pudding now, opting for one or the other, but the old "eat less, move more" statement appears to have been the kickstart key.  AND I can get in my jeans again!  I've become a Fitbit fanatic and there isn't much I wouldn't do to get my steps in!  

The evidence is below, never one to shy away from a selfie, I'm genuinely shocked at how I didn't see just how big I had gotten... The first photos were taken on the 30th January 2016, and the second photos taken earlier this week.

 

I am proud of myself, of everything I have achieved in spite of what happened, not because of.  I set myself these challenges when my life wasn't what it is now, and I'm honouring the person who set them by pushing on. 

I'm not finished yet.  I still have 91km to walk and a stone to lose to complete my first two challenges, but I'm confident now I can see change!

And I'm doing this for me, not because he cheated on me, not because "the grass was greener". The changes I'm making are ones I can feel the benefit of.

I'm watering the grass he neglected, I'm blossoming into someone new, I'm no longer the elephant in the room! Haha!