Yesterday my ex upset me once again, those of you who can see his Facebook will know what I'm talking about and those of you who can't, well, it'll come as no surprise that on the day I chose to share that I've met someone pretty amazing, he took that as the green light to shout how much he loves the tramp he cheated on me with. C'est la vie, what's done is done, it doesn't change anything and just proves how little is left of the man I loved. Tonight I felt like it was time to sort through some old photos and purge the ones of the two of us, what happened though was something entirely unexpected and simply magical.
I opened the box on the shelf that houses my old photo albums, yes actual insert photo albums, and as I sifted through some packets and ripped up some photos, it wasn't as emotional as I thought it would be, but there was a tinge of sadness...
I began to look through albums entitled "Adventures 2003/2004/2005" before I met my ex, and I found myself smiling, then beaming and then physically laughing out loud, so I reached for my phone to share with the 5 people who know me inside and out some amazing memories!
I have alluded to "my girls" before in this blog, but tonight I truly realised just how lucky I am. Paula, Lyndsey, Becky, Nicola and Amy are the sisters I chose for myself, sometimes whether they like it or not. Our friendship has withstood the test of time, distance, heartaches and so much more. I cannot imagine where I would be if it were not for these girls who have given me a heart full of joy.
They are the people with whom I have the absolute freedom to be myself, and yes they don't always agree with my decisions, they don't always think I'm wise and they definitely know I have a self destruct button that they try and steer me well away from, but of any friends I've ever known, I truly believe they love me unconditionally and will be with me forever. They are beautiful people, inside and out, and whilst we all have our flaws, we accept them, embrace them and love each other all the more for them.
As I turned page after page of memories, drunken selfies from before selfies were a thing, photos from road trips, holidays abroad, rare photos of their partners when it was a crime to bring a boy on a girls night out (unless it was Pete!) I found my heart physically beating with love. I have had the misfortune to lose the ability to remember a large chunk of the last ten years of my life with real affection, I am unable to share those memories with the person who was by my side in my tenure in the south, but I realised these girls have always been by my side, they've always been in my heart.
We are all so different, we all have our own style, our own types, in fact when we put together our partners at Nicolas wedding, they were all so randomly different we wondered what they found to talk about! Yet despite our differences we work as a group. I live 200 miles away from them and yet I realise I feel more connected to them than I ever did to my ex who lived in the same house as me.
I am lucky, so lucky that I can call these girls my friends. They might be quick to click the "Add Friend" button to wind me up, but they are even quicker to throw a box of tissues at my head when I'm crying, they checked on me every day in the aftermath of the "Valentines massacre" and they have each in their own way given me strength and encouragement to see myself as someone who matters again.
They have held me whilst I have cried. They have talked to me for hours on the same subject, never once telling me to shut up and get over it. They have expressed with the appreciated vitriol their feelings about what my ex did. They even "sucked it up" and prepared to forgive him for me when I chose to take him back at first. And they never once said "I told you so" when it all inevitably fell apart.
I could extoll each of their individual virtues, but they'd all tell me off for using big words! I could list the things they've done for me, but there isn't enough space on this blog. I wanted to share with the people who read this blog just how special friendship is, how it can save you. You don't always see the big moments coming, you really don't know how much your life can change in the blink of an eye. I didn't. But the one thing I did know was that the moment I needed these girls, they were there for me, no questions asked, no excuses made.
I love them. It's a simple as that. I love them. They are the 5 greatest loves of my life.
**This blog is not to discredit any of my other friends with whom I share fabulous memories and beautiful friendships, so please do not be disheartened that you are not mentioned this evening.**
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